I don’t know about you, but most days–I want to quit.
Quit writing. Quit school. Quit music. Quit working. Instead, I want to just hide in my room and bury myself in a blanket fort, snacking on nachos and binge watch Gilmore Girls. Ha. What a funny thought. Sometimes, my days actually look like this.
A lot of people I know genuinely want to change the world and think they can do it. But there’s always something that holds us back. What hold us back from publishing that writing, recording that album, or just speaking up!? A lack of perseverance–sparked by fear.
I start a lot of things, only to stop them immediately because I think I can’t do them or I won’t be good enough. The words aren’t coming to me: I’m not a writer. My fingers hurt: I’m not a guitar player. I don’t sound like Adele: I definitely need to stop singing. I am an embarrassment. That conversation was terrible: God’s telling me to stop, obviously. The going gets hard and my life isn’t Instagram worthy. Stop everything.
You know what? My life isn’t perfect. And you know what? It never will be. It gets frustrating.
But in order to truly live, I need to give up this idea of perfection.
To change these ideals, I’m going to have to persevere. The places I want to go will take time. I will not lose 15 pounds in a week. I’m not gonna release an album tomorrow. I will not run a marathon next week. I will not be president this year (though, I might be better than what we’ve got.) I will not wake up with a full book written and edited by me in my lap tomorrow morning. I will not change nations in my own strength.
All that would be nice, but if it wasn’t work would it even be worth it? It’s a process. Which is alright with me. The process is patience. The process is hearing God’s voice and having Him lead me. The process is staring at blank notebook pages. The process is new melodies and chord progressions. The process is tedious. It’s not glamorous. It’s frustrating. But it’s worth it.
Wherever you’re at, keep going. Take a breath and some baby steps. Be thankful. Keep pursuing. Even if it doesn’t feel right.
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” –Romans 5:3-4